Well, now that I am sure that things are a tad more secure than they were… let me update you on what has been going on.
So, if you recall, a while back, I had stated that it was done… the fight was over. I had felt that I had given more than I should have to come to the settlement but, it was over and I was happy.
Well, I couldn’t have been more wrong.
It all started with a need to change Wee’s daycare days from what they were to what they are now. Which would mean that she would be in daycare one of the days every other week (Once a month depending on his work schedule.) that her father was to see her. Bad me allowing that to happen. I know… I know. But please understand… come next school year she will have to be in care full time anyway so… that day during the week would be spent in care anyway and he would not be able to see her during that time anyway… so what’s wrong with firming up a “forever schedule” now instead of having to go to court again in less than a year?
And the change was not requested by me. I didn’t do it to ‘make him pay’. Wee’s daycare needed the change.
So he wanted to go back to seeing Wee every weekend. Which I am not OK with because, well, in a year, she will be in care full time so the only ‘quality time’ will be the weekends… Very soon I hope to be working full time so, my only ‘quality time’ with her will be weekends. Why should he get more ‘quality time’ than I do?
So I made a suggestion. That was thrown back in my face with a “I want to have her 50 percent of the time and I will pay whatever I have to to make it happen.”.
Email to lawyer explaining this.
Conversation with lawyer today; Legal Aid does not want to reopen your file (that was closed because we had come to an agreement) and does not feel this should go to trial.
So that’s where I am today…
But, let us back up a bit to the Friday Bombshell; as I have come to call it.
He was telling me his master plan of going for 50 percent access and A: I was furious. B: I was disgusted. C: I kept hearing his words and thinking… This is not HIM talking… These are not HIS words…. It’s like he’s parroting something that someone has said to him over and over and over again. So much so that he now believes it is 100 percent true and very attainable.
So, my brain, in the nocturnal wanderings it had over the weekend… it reminded me of a few things… Of a few people who had my blog address… Of a few people who had a lot of information regarding my life… of a few people that I trusted on some level that for one reason or another dropped me as a friend and became ‘best buds’ with him… and a few that were still, after a year and after all that they have bore witness to, still tried to walk the ‘middle ground’… Still tried to be ‘friendly’ with both of us… still tried to ‘keep in touch’ with both of us…
And who could easily pass information to him… and who would be full of interesting “horrible separation and divorce” advice that they would HAPPILY share.
When I woke on the Sunday morning… the pieces were all there… The ideas he has had… the moves he has made… the things he has said… all of it… there. I couldn’t ignore it…
I felt like a crazy person even thinking it… I felt insane even talking about it… But… If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck… especially since he has stated he is pushing this to trial in January… Can I really ignore the duck…???
I chose not to ignore it.. I chose to follow my gut…
I locked down my Facebook. I removed some friends. I changed my blog address. And I am keeping an eye for any sign that me, my thoughts, my life, may be showing up on the internet for ALL to see if you search Google enough.
Some of you may think I need to wrap my head in tinfoil… And that is fine. That is your right… Trust me, I feel that way sometimes too…
But while you’re thinking that… let me ask you… Has my gut been wrong yet?