After the day I’ve had; after the news I’ve received… I finally got Wee to bed…. And the tears really started to fall. Yes, I’ve been a bawling, sniveling mess for hours… but that was nothing. These tears; add em up… Yes, I’m floating in another ocean of pain, loneliness and fear.
I turned on the radio; music to do the dishes by. The song that was on… Nickelback ~ Lullaby.
So Just Give It One More Try….
Okay, great advice. But let me ask you; how many more tries do I have to give everything before ‘one more try’ runs out?
I’m tired of fighting a battle that I obviously can’t win. I’m tired of finding out that everything I’ve ever done can be used against me at the drop of a hat.
I’m now on the verge of losing all of the ground that I thought I had gained; everything that I thought I had gained that proved that yes, we can be independent. I’m on the edge of losing it all.
I”m also finding out that; well, really, there’s no point in going back to school and upgrading and receiving further certifications to take my chosen career elsewhere. Even if I do spectacularly in those courses and pass with amazing grades; I can’t get the clearance to get the jobs….
And why? Because he didn’t want me to leave the house with the baby… so he called the cops.
Yeah, sure, I slapped him… but if you ask him and he’s HONEST with you when he answers, that’s not why he called. He just happened to be able to use that as a reason.
And now; I can’t get clearance.
So, tell me again… how many more tries add up to one more try? Cause damn it, I’ve been one more trying it for two god damned years.
How many more tries equal one more try?