Again… it has happened again… I thought I’d have down time… and then life happened… Now that down time is split in between three days… and that down time that is now divided is full of running around and appointments and chores and….
Where is my Jammie day????
I was talking to a dear friend John about it… (thanks for always being there John)… He agrees… my life is too busy… I need a break… I think he is plotting a break for me whether I like it or not after the move…
I can’t help but agree with him… I need a true break… a few days of nothing more than…. nothing.
It has again become one of those days where I can’t help but wonder… okay, sure, I have a phone full of people who say “we’re friends… I’m here”…. in that phone full, I hear from four routinely, even just to say “Hello, how’s things” every few days… I hear from another three when it’s clear that life has again become too big and I’m drowning… and from the others, well, I may hear when I’m screaming from the rooftops that the shit has hit the fan, or when they need something, or, worse yet, after the disaster is over and the other seven people have stepped in and picked up the mess with me, I hear “oh, I didn’t think it was a big deal. I just figured it was ____ still going on.”
What has happened to friendships??? To communication??? To just saying hi… for the sake of saying hi….???
I know yes, I can be bad at stopping for a moment to just say Hi…. no excuse… But I like to think that the four people who keep in touch with me, good times and bad, hear from me equally as much… good times and bad… just to say Hi… The rest; well, they fall lower on my list of things to do… Unfortunate but true… But I’ve started prioritizing…. Okay, important, not so much, and wasting my time.
Maybe I need to clean my phone book of the time wasters??
The problem is… some of those time wasters, they helped me through some pretty ugly times in my life… and I guess I’m just having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that, well, perhaps their reason, their season for being in my life is in the past….
But through this shifting, through the changes, some friendships have become more solid, more important than ever before… and others have started to grow, started to become something that, given enough time, I think will become great… great sources of support and encouragement and love for me and my wee and our ever evolving life…
For those of you who take the time…. good times and bad… to stop and say Hello… thank you…
To those of you who remember us and help us and pick us up when you can…. thank you….
And for those who were there… who did help… who did walk… but who have outgrown our story… I am sad to see you go…. but thank you for all that you did. Your kindness will never be forgotten…. your support will always be cherished… your love will always be dear…. but I guess our season has just run its course.
As hard as it can be to let go of things…. you have to let go of the past for your future to grow… And sometimes that means letting go of the people who have consciously or unconsciously let go of you….