Time Keeps On Slipping….

Can you believe it… It’s almost June…  It’s almost the first of June; the date we were supposed to move…   It’s almost June…..

We’re settled back in at home here now….  For now…  This isn’t permanent…  Just for now…  Until I can find the perfect situation for me and my Wee….

Wee has her new bed.  I’m taking her shopping tomorrow for new sheets and blankets for that new bed….  She’s excited.  She can’t wait to finish redecorating her room.  That’s the only thing she wanted to ‘make up for’ the cancelled move; her room redone.

Me…  I’m still wishing for peace…  Peace and tranquility….  A break from it all…  Perhaps one day soon.

Until then… I can’t believe it’s almost June. School is almost out for summer…  Summer plans are being made…  Summer type fun is being had already…  You can see the excitement in the eyes of the kids, hear the whisper on the breeze….  ‘almost here; school is almost out’….  Hear the plans being made on the stoop of every house every evening….

So much to fit into a few precious months.

I was telling Shane over coffee Sunday night…  We; much like everyone else,  were making plans and saying what we’d like to do…  It feels like summer is slipping through my fingers already and it’s not even here yet….  He smiled and said we’ll do the best we can with those few short months and try to squeeze some time in together; without the kids…

That’s important too… As everyone knows…  My Wee free time…  And then kid free time when you’re with someone and trying to make it all work…  Kid free time…  Time to breathe and just be an adult…  Blow off some steam…  It’s so very important…..

But summer…  It’s almost here…  You can feel it on the breeze…  It’s almost here…  And I can’t wait.

Those few, short, precious months that rejuvenate Canadians and prepare us for another winter….  Those months of fun, laughs, friends, barbecues, parties…  Staying up too late…  Laughs…  Fun..  Mosquito bites…  Too much beer…  Too much wine….  Too much sun….

It’s what summer’s all about….

In the winter we indulge in food….  In the summer we indulge in fun and festivities…

Summer….

I can’t wait…

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And We Keep On Keeping On….

As many of you know, I’ve been very excited lately about a move back closer to many of my nearest and dearest friends; back to London.  While I do have dear friends in St. Thomas, I have many more in London; more people who can and will help when shit hits the fan….

Unfortunately, they can’t help me through everything, and this is one of those things.

It has happened again; and it again leaves me wondering “What is wrong with ME?  Why does this keep happening to ME?”.  Not to wallow in self-pity or anything but have you ever known one person to get kicked by so many people who she considers friends?  Have you?  This is getting insane.  Really.  And each time it happens it erodes my trust, my faith in my friends even further; it shakes my self-confidence, it rattles me to the core.

But how can it not…?

So, someone who I thought was a friend; the person who I had been planning this move with FOR MONTHS; literally MONTHS; backed out yesterday.

Um, thanks.

This after weeks of talking about how excited he was for the move, about how great it was gonna be, about how it was gonna be great for everyone, how it would be like a fresh start in life….

Um, thanks.

So, after many, many, many agonizing hours of crunching numbers, checking my security net, figuring in this possible outcome and that possible outcome, no sleep, worry, heartburn…  I started making calls…  Started checking to see what my options truly were.

Fate and luck are on my side right now.

Yes, my unit was rented out; the one that I’m leaving; it was rented.

Yes, Wee’s spot at Daycare was filled; the spots there fill fast.

Yes there was a verbal agreement to rent the new place; and an agreement written out via email as well stating the lease terms; but no actual lease had been signed as of yet.

Then Fate intervened.  I got a call; someone wants to move early, we can put the tenant who was to go into your unit into the other unit so you can stay if you want.

YAY.

Then my phone rang again; we’ve had a spot open in Wee’s class.  She can stay.

YAY.

Now I’m just waiting to hear back from the should have been landlords as to what (if any) the penalty will be for breaking the verbal agreement to rent.  As long as it’s affordable, the move will not happen.

It just doesn’t make sense for me to make a move when the financial benefit is no longer there.  The reason for the move was so that I could save a ton of money and get me and Wee into a house within a year.  I can’t save that kind of money if my bills have just doubled all around.

So, as sad as it is to let go of the move; it is for the best….  it will be best for Wee, because we’ll be able to keep on track with my plan to buy a house in the near future; it will be best for me because I won’t have a ton of financial worry hanging over my head…

But it’s sad to not be moving ahead with the move…  that move, it actually felt like a HUGE fresh start…  Out with all of the old…  and on with a brand new life with all of my nearest and dearest around us….

But, obviously Fate wants us here right now; obviously Fate has a plan…  I guess it’s time to ride this wave and see where Fate is taking us….

If it will it will, and if it won’t it won’t.
If it does it does, yeah if it don’t it don’t.
Some days are good some bad you know.
That’s the way it goes.

Give the wheel of life a spin, see where it lands.
Let your spirit fly free, enjoy yourself while you can.
Don’t be in a hurry and don’t ever make plans.

‘Cause if it will it will, and if it won’t it won’t.
If it does it does, hey if it don’t it don’t.
Life is not always so smooth.

If It Will It Will ~ Hank Williams Jr.