Oh the strides we’ve made…..
The list goes on.
And we have all been touched by these advances, these strides, these modern-day miracles….
Every. Single. One. Of. Us.
Sometimes these advances are a blessing. Medications to get us well, keep us well, prolong our lives. Technological advancements to make life easier, quicker, more at our fingertips. Cellular phones so that, no matter what the situation, we’re always in touch. Social Media to keep us up-to-date on what our friends feel we need to know about….
Hell, I can sit here right now and think about the million ways that my life is so much better thanks to all of that.
But, on the flip side of that coin, there are the drawbacks….
Medications to keep you well… what price will you pay with side-effects?
Cell phones to keep you in touch…. but sometimes you need a break.
Computers to help you with your work and your personal affairs… until they break.
Social Media to keep us up-to-date on our friends and loved ones who are near and far…
Until it is forgotten that Social Media means PUBLIC and not PRIVATE… and at some point, every event that you attend, every comment that you make, everything that you do on a Social Media site will end up PUBLIC knowledge… and sometimes, sometimes, those comments, those events, those actions… well, they hurt someone that you really didn’t mean to hurt.
I’m a good person by nature. I don’t lie. I won’t lie. I pride myself on being a good friend; a great friend. I have a strong moral fiber.
I am just BUILT to be good: to be the one person you know you can always bring your shit to and you’re never going to be judged because of it; to be the one person who you know, when your back is against the wall, I’ll be right there with you helping you through it; to be the one person whose door is always open at any hour of any day, and a kind shoulder and an open ear is always there.
I’m also not one to get petty about shit…. I don’t stomp my feet and demand that everyone else ‘Unfriend’ someone because we’ve had a falling out… I don’t demand that because someone is out of my life, they must be out of your life too…. I don’t throw the ‘yeah well you’re MY FRIEND’ card around.
And I think the biggest reason for that is because, as a friend, I know there are a lot of things that I would not ever do; and I think I’ve been naive to think that all of my friends thought and felt and would act the same way…
I would not go to see your ex’s band play. There are other fucking bands. And if there aren’t, rent a fucking movie.
I would not toss around a great joke about how your ex was being hit on all night. Haha, that’s funny shit.
I would not comment on how great everything was that night, how great everyone looked… How great your ex looked…. How happy your ex seems… Are you fucking kidding me? For reals?
And the reason I would not do these things; because I’m YOUR FRIEND and I don’t want to hurt you with my actions…
I am YOUR FRIEND… My loyalty is to you and the friendship that we have.
Friendship means a lot to me… My friends… My true friends… It’s more than just a ‘yeah we’re buddies, we grab a beer’….
Some of my friends I’ve stood shoulder-to-shoulder with… Looked death in the eye with… Been willing to lay my life down for.
Some of my friends have opened their doors and their lives and their homes to me at the drop of a hat during some of the hardest and darkest times in my life.
Some of my friends have been a sounding board for some of the most troubling incidences that any one person could ever imagine facing.
Our friendship is much, much more than ‘Hey yeah, I know their name….’….
And I would like to hope that those friends would all give ME the same respect I would give THEM… That my friendship and my feelings mean as much to them as theirs do to me…
Honestly, if one of my friends came to me with stories of the horrors that another person put them through, ‘unfriending’ that person would be the first god damned thing I would do.
If one of my friends told me stories of a person disappearing for hours on end only to reappear drunk, with no explanation for the hours missing; the only clue to what that person had been up to would be the booze on their breath and the cuts that would be found on their body that my friend would provide first aid care for…. The LAST god damned thing I would be doing on a Friday night would be wasting my time going to support that person’s band.
If one of my friends told me about the horrors only getting worse; having to involve the police, having to call paramedics, having to shelter their child as well as the children of the other person from that person’s actions and unstable state… Believe you me, I wouldn’t waste one single LOL on any fucking comment that had anything to do with that person being hit on all night. I’d likely secretly sit back and hope that person got the clap or something; but I definitely wouldn’t drop an LOL.
But perhaps that’s just me… Perhaps I hold myself to a higher standard that most people could ever consider….
Or perhaps I’m just being petty and over-sensitive….
Or perhaps, maybe perhaps, there are some people that need to re-evaluate their place in my life and gracefully back away.
I’m trying very hard to close the door on that section of my life… To let that part go…. Because, really, I don’t live there anymore… And I don’t want to…
I was built for bigger and better things than everything that happened during that period in my life.
My friends will help me close that door….
My friends will support me…
My friends will love me…
Pete, Greg, Liz…. Thank you for the unconditional ear and the love today.
Thank you for being my friends.