Envy….

They say it’s a deadly sin; one of seven actually.

Envy.

Some people say you should never Envy others or what they have.  I say we’re all human; we all go through periods where we wish….

Whether it’s Envy over the wealth, fame, power, or possessions that another person has….  Or the health, family, friends, or inner peace that another person has…. at some point, we all Envy.

We’re all human.  It happens.

When you build your life on Envy though, that’s when it becomes a problem.

I don’t feel that I am a person who as built their life on Envy.  I know there are many things in my life that many, many people would be envious of.  And really, when I look at my life and my circumstances, I must admit, I’ve done pretty okay for myself.

But right now, I still find myself in a position of feeling Envy.

I Envy people who have ‘easy’ pregnancies.  Mine was full of nothing but complications.  There was not a moment of that experience that I enjoyed.  I hated being pregnant.  My body hated being pregnant.

I Envy people who go through childbirth with ease and with no physical or emotional damage from the process of giving birth.  I wasn’t so lucky.  Physically I tore myself up.

I Envy people that months and years down the road don’t have those post-pregnancy and post-childbirth problems creep up and bite them in the ass; whether they’ve had one kid or twenty of them…  they sail through it all and their body bounces back and life is good.

I’m not one of those people.  I again drew the short straw with this and am now getting ready to go under the knife to have all of the damage repaired.

Unfortunately that means I’m going to be losing some pieces of myself.

I’ve never before had surgery where they’ve TAKEN MY STUFF OUT!  It’s always been a repair or taking out stuff that shouldn’t be there or putting in extra stuff.  NOW THEY’RE GOING TO BE TAKING STUFF OUT!!!

Sure, it’s all stuff that I don’t need…  stuff I wasn’t ever going to use again anyway.  And it’s coming out so that they can fix me and give me my life back….

BUT SHIT, IT’S MY STUFF!!!!

As you can see, I’m a bit stressed out about losing any of my parts and pieces….  And I think that’s because in losing one of these parts, it truly does mean “That’s all folks”.

See, I had my tubes tied soon after having my Wee one; and that was no big deal.  I think that’s cause I always had in the back of my head the thought that it could possibly be undone.

They can’t undo a take away.  They take out the baby baker, that’s it… it’s done.  It truly is one and done.

And I don’t know how I feel about that.

I know there is no option B.  This is it.  It’s this and get my life back or I keep on keeping on the way I am… and that’s not an option.

So out comes the baby baker.

In goes some mesh tape and stitches and various other bullshit….

And I get my life back.

I guess on the upside…  If I ever find a boyfriend, I’ll never have to send him for tampons….

Envy me yet?