Living… Loving… Learning…

It’s been a while.  Exactly how long I can’t say.  We seem to mark time right now with the passing of appointments and the periods of time between appointments.  So, using that formula; it has been three appointments with Phil’s diagnosing and prescribing psychiatrist since I last wrote.

Much has happened since then.
Phil has been prescribed a medication and has gone through four dose adjustments.  He’s sleeping well, eating well, exercising, and loving life.
Wee has grown, changed, grown, and learned to ride a two wheeler bicycle.  She has a new bike now and the Easter Bunny brought her the cookbook from her favourite YouTube baker Nerdy Nummies.
I have been working…  Working as much as I can.  The pain in my body has been bad; bad to the point that we’re desperately looking for ways to find me relief anymore.  But my head is calm; my demons are resting.  Whether that is because of Phil’s new normal or because of my new meds, I can’t say but my demons rest for now.

Other than that, it’s been learning to live with Phil’s new normal…. And my new normal…  And Life’s new normal….

A lot of learning.

Since Phil was medicated, we’ve had some minor ups and downs with his moods….  Today was big and hard to handle.  Thankfully it didn’t last long; 6 hours I believe.  If this right now is his new normal, I’m happy with that!

And for me, it’s just about adjusting to my new body and limitations since my hysterectomy.  No, life is NOT the same since that.  No, my body is NOT the same since that.  No, I will never be in the same physical condition I was in before that.

The fact that I have a new reality to live with and adjust to pisses me off…  When is enough enough?  I’ve had enough….

Why wasn’t I told about physical limitations and changes that I would face post surgery?  Why?  Why was I not told before they cut my baby baker out?

Fucking hell I’m mad.

But at the same time, it is what it is… Deal with it and keep on keeping on….

One minute at a time if necessary…

But never stop….

We’ve all come too far to stop now.


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