If Everyone Would Do Their Part….

Wouldn’t the world be a lovely place if everyone would do their part?  If everyone would be accountable?  If everyone would pitch in? 

Wouldn’t it be lovely?  

They say many hands make light work.   That is more true than you could know.  

If we all pitched in and did our part, everyone’s lives would be a bit easier and run a bit more smoothly.  

Good logic, right?

So then why the fuck don’t we all do it?  Where the fuck has common sense, common courtesy, and the desire to fucking well be accountable and do your part gone?  

Let me back up…  oh….   twenty-nine hours.

My phone rings.  

Shit.  It’s the day camp where Wee has gone for the summer.

“Oh really it’s no big deal.  Really.  It’s just lice and we found some eggs on your daughter.  Treat her once and you can bring her back tomorrow.”

By this point in the conversation I’m hyperventilating; quite literally losing my shit.  

Lice…  I’ve read about these nasty little fuckers…  Fuck.  I’ve heard about them.  Hell, I even knew a kid or two who had them when I was growing up.  But I’ve never dealt with them personally. Never once have I had to deal with them personally.  Even growing up in a family with SIX kids…  Six kids who were into all sorts of team and group and camp and outdoors and tons of friends and activities…  NEVER ONCE was their lice in our house.

Why?   Because if someone we knew had the fucking things, you wouldn’t see them until it was fixed.   

When I was a kid…  When I was growing up, if someone had lice it was a big fucking deal.  You wouldn’t see that kid for seven days.   After those seven days, sure, you’d see them, but they’d have that pesticide aroma around them for a few more weeks. 

There was no fucking around.  There was a “No Nit” policy.  People would take care of the shit and it wouldn’t spread like wildfire through the masses. 

Now the general attitude seems to be “Meh, they’re kids.  They get lice.  They’ll get over it”.

FUCK THAT.  NO.  That’s not right. 

You keep your buggy kid home till that shit gets fixed! 

There should be no ‘treat once, bring it back’ option.  Fuck.  That’s how this mess started in my house.  Some kid had the bugs and the parents were told ‘treat once, bring it back’…  Now half the fucking camp has the bugs… A WEEK BEFORE SCHOOL.

Do you know what the lifecycle is on those fucking things?   FUCK!!! 

Fuck no.   A letter like this should go home:

Maybe people would wake the fuck up and be accountable and be responsible and do their damn jobs right.

Maybe people would stop and think. 

All I knew within the first hour of the phone call was that I needed help; I needed good solid advice…  And I needed a drink.

I have a week to clear this shit up.

Then I thought about all of the people impacted if I didn’t clear this up right.  Everyone from my neighbour who has a lovely daughter who makes sure my Wee gets on and off the bus okay all the way to the lady down the street with TWO kids who are going to be in my Wee’s class, one of which has leukemia.  She has eight people in her house in total.  EIGHT DAMMIT.  And I’m sure her little one with leukemia would not be able to have anywhere near her the chemicals needed to properly get rid of the lice.


I needed help.  I needed help NOW. 

And I wasn’t going to turn to anyone who was an ‘old hat’ at dealing with lice.  If you’ve dealt with it that much, you’re not the person I want advice from. 

I wanted sound advice from people who felt the sense of pressure and panic that I was feeling AT THAT MOMENT, who handled the problem, and who have never had the problem again. 

Off I go to my mommy bloggers and the CDC website:



Off I went with both of those printed out to the pharmacy, with our hairdresser texting me instructions, and a nurse from the Health Unit on my phone. 

Fuck this.   

A whole lot of money later, the process started. 

Now, twenty-nine and a half hours after the phone call, we have a routine in place that is going to involve one load of laundry every day, vacuuming twice a day, nit picking with a lice comb twice a day, two runs a day with the Robi Comb, and enough tea tree oil to float a ship in. 

I’ve got this. 

I’m mad…  I’m tired…  I’m frustrated…  I’m MAD… 

Because on top of all of this, I’m still working, my daughter is home from camp because I don’t want her to infest anyone else (or get re-infested) because it is my responsibility as her parent to ensure that this doesn’t spread beyond her. 

I can’t control what everyone else does, but I can control what I do…  And the lice stop here. 

Some people who know about the problem are saying “oh, you’re making this harder on yourself than you need to.  You don’t need to do all of that work.”

Oh yeah?   The CDC seems to think this IS a big deal.  So does every mom out there who has had to deal with this who never wants to deal with this again.  So does my hairdresser, our pharmacist, and the nice lady at the Health Unit. 

The only people who seem to believe this isn’t a big deal are those who don’t want to spend the time and money getting rid of the little beasts properly and who don’t want to do the work to keep the fucking things gone; the people who are ‘too busy’ to keep their buggy kids home; and the people who just plain don’t give a shit. 

Fuck that. 

I don’t have the time, the money, or the desire to do what I’m doing right now; battling lice with everything that I have.  But it’s my responsibility to ensure that MY kid doesn’t infect everyone else.  So I have to make the time.  I have to find the money.  I have to have more desire to never see them again than I have to turn a blind eye to the problem and assume Nix is gonna handle this shit for me. 

That’s not a solution; that’s a fucking copout. 

Getting rid of these little shits is a full time job.  On top of that I’m still working my full time job.  And I’m doing it all as a single mom.

Have YOU ever tried nit picking your own hair?  It’s not fun.  It’s not easy.  But I’m fucking doing it because I HAVE TO.  That’s my fucking job. 

My fucking job is to make sure that come September second, my kid is not going to give anyone else any bugs. 

And dammit, I’m gonna do just that. 

So to all of those thinking and saying that I’m making a big deal out of nothing…  Sure, okay.  That’s your opinion.   We all have one…  but think about this:
If I wasn’t making a  big deal now, if I didn’t stop it now…  Who would be at fault when your kid and my kid met up in a few days and my kid and your kid put their heads together…  And then your bug free kid ended up with bugs?  And then your kid and my kid were buggy best buds.  Who would be at fault?  

But all kids get them…..

Perhaps if THAT thinking went away, all kids wouldn’t get them…  Because we’d all be responsible for making sure that we didn’t spread them around.    

Lice:  Not a rite of passage.  What they are is a huge money drain, a huge inconvenience, and a huge pain in the ass.