Memories….

Life isn’t about what you have or what you spend….  It’s about the memories that you make.

As a single mom who constantly feels one-upped by my daughter’s father because he has greater financial resources than I do, I can state with great certainty that the above statement is true.

It’s not always easy to make memories that are amazing, especially when you’re on a limited budget AND you’re dealing with a four year old…   But I do try.

This weekend, I succeeded.  The look in her eyes told me I had succeeded.

That’s all that matters to me.

This weekend was full of fun.  Saturday we made Fairy Jars to give to her friends that are coming to her birthday.  A very girly and very wondrous thing that will help little imaginations take flight; if even just for a second…  That thought alone made the mess and the cleanup totally worth it.

And then we had an early dinner….

And then we had a movie night with snacks….

And it was great.

Sunday…  Sunday was amazing.  We stuck well within our budget and we went to the Western Fair and she had a blast.

Thanks to Jeffrey for coming with us…  And for ‘winning’ her Purple…  She loves that fucking thing more than anything.  I swear we could have left then and that memory alone would have been enough to carry her through till next year when the Fair comes to town again.

 Say hello to Purple everyone.

But we didn’t leave; we stayed…  We bought some silly hats that were on sale…  we played more games…  we saw the animals…  we rode the rides…

And then we ran into one of her best friends and the day was off the charts better for her!! Thanks Melissa and Jon for saying hi and letting the girls hit the rides together…  It made her day…!!!

And then we went home…  and she couldn’t stop talking about EVERYTHING that she saw and did.

And her words to me tonight on the way to her bed:
“Mommy, I love Purple.”
“I know Dude.”
“It was nice of Jeffrey to win him for me.”
“Yes, it was…  very nice.”
“I had the funnest day today Mommy.  Hanging out with everyone made it the best day of all.  We have such great friends.”
“Yes we do dude…  We’re very lucky.”
“You’re right Mommy, this Fair was way funner….  cause our friends were there and you went on rides with me and our friends were there are I got Purple and you went on rides with me and my best friend went on rides with me.”
“I’m glad you had fun Dude…”
“I love you Mommy.  Thanks for the best day ever.”

The look in her eyes was all the thanks I needed.

Because I know the memories of this weekend are going to stick around for a long time.

And THAT’S what matters to me.

It’s Amazing….

Time has passed so quickly.  

This summer; our first summer break from school; it is almost over.  

It honestly feels like summer is busier in general, with less opportunity for me to get any kind of down-time than what I get during the school year.  

And I suppose that’s because of the morning routine, the evening routine, and all of the extra lessons that my Wee was wanting to fit in.  

But amongst all of the busy, we kept the fun.  We kept the love, we kept the laughter, we kept the learning…  

And we kept the fun.  

Did we get to do everything that I had wanted to do?  Take the trips I wanted to take?  No.  Sadly, no.  But that’s okay.  We had fun.  

And the trips we did take meant more to us.  Better memories were created.  More laughs were had.  

And that’s what matters.  

But I just can’t believe how the time is slipping.  How it is passing like water through my fingers.  

I was at the kitchen sink last night doing the dishes and a storm rolled in.  It reminded me of a storm almost three years ago…  a storm of great power.  A storm that marked another day when my life took a complete change and became something entirely new.   

And then I couldn’t believe it’s been three years.

And then of course, as my mind will, it started sorting through its memory snapshots…  pictures of times that it remembers just like they were yesterday.  Some great moments; some moments I wish I could forget.  

All of them snapshots.  

Some of those snapshots would dig up more memories…  or an actual complete replay of the events so detailed that those replays would be full of the of sights and sounds and smells that I was perceiving in those moments.  So detailed that the feelings that I was feeling in those moments would flood back like I was reliving those moments again right now.  

Some of those snapshots made me chuckle and smile…  

Others made me sigh…

Others made me cry…  

Hell, sitting here right now, writing about my recent trip down memory lane, my recent sorting of my snapshots…  I’m crying.

Time is passing quickly…  It’s marked by some great achievements…  some amazing laughs…  some great friends who continue to stand by my side.  Some new friends have come into the picture; some old friends have left…  but some great friends are still standing.  

And time is passing…  Some of that time has been full of more than a lifetime worth of sorrow and pain for me…  Some of those memories have left dark marks on my mind and demons in my heart…  

Despite that though, there is still the fun.